what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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