saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
