No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
