I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
