Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
