and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
