Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
