the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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