i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
