he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
