Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
