Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i came on her dog
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
