so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
where does the pee come out of this thing
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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