Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
