I CAN MOONWALK!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
