If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
