maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
