i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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