I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
