And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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