How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i think im in europe. pls send help
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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