The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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