Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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