At least make sure they are 18
Why
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
