Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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