Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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