I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
