i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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