it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
