is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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