I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh god it's open bar.
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