arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
