Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
