I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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