At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
