operation harelip BJ is a go
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
