Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
