I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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