You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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