Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
