ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
