What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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