I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
