i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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