I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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