Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
