Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
