i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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