yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she told me i tasted like america
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
