its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
