it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
